self-esteem

"Everything painful and sobering in what psychoanalytic and religious genius have discovered about man, revolves around the terror of admitting what one is doing to earn his self-esteem." Ernest Becker

i need to chew on this for awhile...

everything painful and sobering revolves around the terror of admitting what one is doing to earn his self-esteem. nothing? inherent slackerism? pick a little peck a little?

what is self-esteem? and why's it so elusive? what do i do to make myself feel better? escape? avoid? deny? curl up in my coop? help so i can get some too? get out there and peck them other chickens to give myself a boost?

what is it about us that brings us to the place where we can peck each other to death?

what can i do to turn it around and build that thing that is myself, instead of tearing my chicken shit self apart?

there has to be a place where i don't have to be afraid of getting pecked at. is that a location that's inside me? or an environmental anomaly?

hmmm